Having a boyfriend who will not listen to you is irritating. Women value good listening skills because they feel important, acknowledged and respected when their partner is an attentive listener. A woman wants to be heard, and her feelings recognized.
Feeling neglected or unappreciated is just two of the emotions women feel whenever their boyfriends don’t listen. These feelings are enough to make someone fall out of love or at the very least, create a major conflict and emptiness.
If your boyfriend doesn't listen to you, more than likely, you will turn to friends or family members in times of need. In a healthy and loving relationship, you want (and can) turn to each other.
It's exhausting to talk and day after day you keep wondering how to get your boyfriend to listen. You begin to feel invisible. It takes two to tango and communication is between two people. You have to look at what you are bringing to the communication dynamics between the two of you, what your boyfriend is bringing and assess what is going on in your relationship.
Tips for Getting Your Boyfriend to Listen
Don't nag - No one is going to listen when you are nagging them. Nagging becomes irritating and soon causes your partner to close off. What you are trying to say will not be heard if you nag.
Don't accuse - Be aware of the words you use when talking to your partner. Don't use accusatory words such as "you always", "you make me". Allow your boyfriend to know what you are feeling through words such as "I feel", "I need".
Be in tune - Be in tune with your boyfriend's communication style. Is he the quiet type or is he more talkative? Does he like to take time to think about what is being said before responding? By adapting to your boyfriend's communication style, you are more likely to be listened to.
Stop Hinting - Men are pretty straight forward creatures. They don't like hints or for a woman to beat around the bush with the points they are trying to make. If you want your boyfriend to listen, you need to be straight forward, while using real emotion and tact. Don't put your boyfriend in the position of having to read your mind.
Tone - Use gentle words and a tender tone when communicating with your boyfriend. It is very difficult not to listen to someone who draws you in with gentleness in your words and emotions. Use a tone of voice that is pleasant. Do not talk too loud, too soft or too fast. Speak clearly so your words are understood and the meaning behind your words will be more likely to be understood.
Respect - Respect your boyfriend as a man and let him know you care about him. Listen to his needs and feelings in the same way you want him to listen to yours.
If your boyfriend still doesn’t listen, there might be a problem between the two of you that suggests bigger problems in your relationship. Has your boyfriend suddenly stopped listening or has he always had bad listening skills? If he has suddenly stopped listening, it is time for a heart-to-heart talk to find out the root of the problem. If he has always had bad listening skills, assess whether this is someone you want to continue a relationship with or if you feel there is potential for change.